(This is just some blather I feel I need to get off my chest in order to
deal with the problem at hand.)
Music has been a big part of my being for quite a while now. I've heard,
played, and composed pop music and symphonic music for most of my life. But
in the past year and ? or so, I've lost much of my musical imaginativeness
and tunefulness. I have my theories on how this could have come about, but
first, here's some background (bare with it, 'cause it's important). In
high school, I listened mainly to pop/rock. I used guitar recreationally
and as a writing tool for a rock band. I also played a few wind instruments
in the school band. Other dabblings include small percussion instruments,
keyboard, and an audacious obsession with beatboxing. And I got into making
electronic music in the closing months of my sophomore year. (By the way,
I'm American, so I didn't have immediate accessibility to a lot of
electronic music; I was mainly into Chemical Brothers, Prodigy, Tricky,
Underworld, mainstream stuff).
So there I was, surrounded by all this music, absorbing and applying it
accordingly. But it all began to turn to shit my senior year of high school
and haunts me more and more everyday now. As time goes on, the more I grow
weary of my roots. As of now, I have in essence abandoned my practice with
the guitar; my indie folk days are over. As well, I no longer take part in
any kind of concert band, thus my study in that outlet has diminished. And
in turn, the more and more I become interested in electronic music (both in
hearing it and making it). This explains how I, a kid who lives in a small
city in the boondocks of Arkansas, found my way to this discussion list (a
list of which I probably have no business participating in). All of my
focus right now is on electronic music, particularly idm. I am seemingly
absent to all musical exposure except this one specific subgenre. The
months go by, and I'm finding it harder and harder to write music that I'm
satisfied with. My hunch is that this is due to my current lack of musical
bountifulness. The electronic music I wrote when I was focused on many
creative vehicles was much more interesting and inventive than what I write
in the present. Today, I focus far too much on technicality. Yesterday, I
was much more fruitful and easy going about it all. I've mastered the beat
(which I think is the centerpiece of electronica), but I've lost my sense of
melody.
Of course, all, some or none of this could be true. Or it could be all in
my head. I think it's a combination. It's driving me nuts. Either way, I
suppose music isn't like riding a bike. Dismissing creative channels and
expecting to continue thriving is like detaching the front wheel from your
bike and riding round the block on a wheelie; it's difficult. You shouldn't
leave certain energies behind because they are important to your growth and
duration. I'm sure some of you can relate.
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