UNDERGROUND FRISBEE BOOTLEGGING OPERATION BUSTED -- MILLIONS OF INDONESIANS
LEFT UNEMPLOYED
Jakarta, INDONESIA, Sept 26 (REUTERZ)
In what music industry experts are cheering as a major breakthrough for
international recognition of copyright law, the FIAA (Frisbee Industry
Association of America), in conjunction with authorities from Interpol,
CIA, and Skam Records Corporation, have finally broken the elusive
"Frisb33d00dz" cartel headquartered in Jakarta, Indonesia.
The "d00dz" are charged with the manufacture and distribution of 9-inch
plastic knock-offs of a mysterious, limited-issue, professional frisbee --
which is yet to be released by the renown Skam Records outfit -- entitled
"SKA000".
Only 9 promotional units of Skam's original 9-inch toy were allotted to
independent music shops around the world to date, leading to a fast
sell-out of the item and to an even faster bidding process at private
auctions. Some claim this bidding went out of control and motivated the
previously clandestine activities of the cartel.
"We got our hands on two promo frisbees. Without warning, vast sums were
called at the bidding sessions," Sigridur Ingvarsdöttir, Iceland's
associate for the auctioning firm Sotheby's said over an intimate,
candlelit dinner with the reporter. "These were hot items, I kid you not.
The naked snapshots of Björk in a hot tub didn't fetch nearly as much as
the frisbees. I just hope, for the bidder's sake, that the toys are
originals. Sotheby's has a no-refund policy if the frisbees are unwrapped
before leaving the store."
Private sources admitted that one of the two promotional copies of SKA000
fetched a sum as high as four hundred million kronur ($US 16 and some change).
The head of FIAA, former frisbee division head of Wham-O Industries Chris
Hardin, distributed fake discs at the press conference held outside the
plastics combine in the industrial sector of East Jakarta where the
Frisb33d00dz operated.
"This is a rockin' day for real frisbee dudes everywhere. I'm still stoked
about it. Like, let the bogus 'd00dz' hang their heads in shame, dude,"
Chris said while pulling trick manuevers with his World Class 175g
Wham-O(tm) frisbee in front of an impressed crowd of journalists.
Before the culprits were herded into waiting Indonesian police trucks to be
extradited to The Hague, Netherlands, Frizb33d00dz leader Kiya Babzani --
also known by the moniker "iamacopier" -- screamed his epitaph to the
jeering crowd:
"These record company excutives are vicious snakes. Let them choke on their
bloody profits. We'll be back making toys: fluffy sheep, AFX face masks --
mark my words!"
Skam officials commended the authorities involved in the case and said they
were pleased the 'd00dz' were arrested before the official release date of
SKA000.
Interpol Secretary General Raymond E. Kendall refused to comment on how
silly this article would eventually become, but did note in an impressed
tone of voice that the frisbee copies were undeniably high quality goods:
"The compression tools used to shape the copies -- and the component vinyl
stock -- are both of high fidelity to the original promotion frisbees. This
d00dz operation was professional at every level, from engineering to
manufacturing to distribution."
Some skeptical bystanders were left scratching their heads at this month's
turn of events. "Can you explain to me again, why a music label is selling
frisbees?" a puzzled Herb Nutterfluffer of Des Moines, Iowa asked of this
reporter.
In completely unrelated news, Warp Records CEO Greg Eden denied reports
that his corporation would be releasing limited edition, DR-designed
hacky-sacks, pogo sticks and hula-hoops to compete with Skam Records.
"Totally preposterous," screamed an inebriated Eden after an eight-martini
power lunch. "Total bollocks --- where are my lawyers? What's your name
again?"
© 1998 Reuterz LTD. All rights to satirical use of protected names reserved
under relevant "Fair Use" clauses.