http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2004/1/12bieber.html
'My DJ'
By Brian Bieber
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I have to take the bus to the doctor's office because some drunk rear-ended me last week on my way
home from an after-bar. It's morning rush hour, so of course my DJ and I have to stand. He doesn't
have a stable surface to set his turntables on, so his records keep skipping all over the place. I
almost don't care; while certainly not wack, the shit he's spinning this morning is a far cry from
dope. The unimpressed looks our fellow passengers are exchanging tell me I'm not alone in my
assessment.
********
My DJ lays down some real hardcore shit while the doctor tells me the lump on my left testicle is
just a benign cyst. The doctor starts to give me a little lecture about the importance of
performing monthly checks on myself, but it's hard to keep a straight face because my DJ is wearing
a surgical mask he found in one of the doctor's drawers and pretending to scratch his records with
a tongue depressor. I'm really relieved about not having testicular cancer, and I have to restrain
myself from singing along with the words to the sample my DJ drops every twelve measures or so. The
doctor gives me a little plastic card to hang in my shower that shows me how to check for lumps.
Motherfucker say what, I mouth to the beat. My DJ encourages the doctor to throw his hands up, but
the doctor declines.
= = = = = =
The rest of the story:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2004/1/12bieber.html
seek
np: Wevie Stonder - 'Eat Your Own Ears' (skam)
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