At 14:07 03/12/95 -0800, Alan M. Parry wrote:
quoted 3 lines I'd prefer people didn't post top10's to the list right now as the IDM
>
>I'd prefer people didn't post top10's to the list right now as the IDM
>Poll 95 is only moments away. Thanks.
In the meantime, here's a few cut-down lists of things that was going to
form part of a 'hilarious' techno piss-take zine that I never got around to
actually finishing (which is probably just as well). I make no guarantees
for the humour content whatsoever.
--
- Top three techno mailing lists
1. Name : FSOL sample-spotting list
Purpose : "Ultimately to discuss the samples used in FSOLs material with the
eventual purpose of developing a complete list spanning six
CD-ROMs"
Email : fsol@fsol.demon.co.uk (but don't expect a response...)
2. Name : The great Vinyl vs. CD debate
Purpose : "To (ahem) 'discuss' the pros and cons of the various
formats and ultimately, to degenerate into a flame war"
Email : Send your mail to /dev/null
3. Name : Rephlex release schedule list
Purpose : "To discuss the ways in which the Rephlex release schedule
appears to defy the laws of time and space. For example,
the Bochum Welt release coming from nowhere, followed by
the release of the first ever Rephlex record CAT001. The
possibility exists that the schedule is actually collapsed
anti-matter and can bend time accordingly."
Email : majordomo@rephlex.com making sure your mail is time-stamped
for a week into the future.
- 313 list "Things that should _never_ be mentioned. At all. Ever"
1. Exactly, who are Drexciya?
- Top four Netscape messages when accessing Hyperreal.com from the UK
1. "Connecting Hyperreal..." (displayed for two hours...)
2. "Error. Socket timed out"
3. (Once you've finally connected...) "This file does not exist"
4. "No server response"
- alt.rave "Top five subjects to add to your killfile"
1. The Prodigy rule!
2. Why I think 2-Unlimited are TECHNO
3. The Prodigy Suck! (Was: The Prodigy rule!)
4. Has anyone heard of a group called 'The Orb'?
5. Actually, they rule (Was: The Prodigy Suck! (Was: The Prodigy rule!))
How to... make Gabber in 10 easy steps
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Sequence a fast 4/4 bass drum pattern.
2. Right, now double the tempo.
3. Add a 909 open-hat sample.
4. Double the tempo again.
5. Double it once more just for good measure.
6. Now put it through a distortion pedal.
7. Add a 'comedy' sample e.g. a duck quacking, an arse farting, etc.
8. Triple the tempo.
9. Save it out to disk (don't worry about disk space; it'll take up just
50 bytes of space)
10.Press 500 copies and send them all to Mokum.
--
|| [CiM]
|| s.walley@uea.ac.uk
||
http://www.sys.uea.ac.uk/~u9323899/