IDM Mailing Archive

Hey, what's up, you little punks? I hope you're IDM list members because the Flat Earth Jihad wants you to fully understand the magnitude of our hatred for you. You annoying little fuckers were behind us in line at the Warp Lighthouse Party. While standing in line for upwards of an hour was an ordeal, it was made truly unbearable by your idiotic chattering. For almost a full hour, we listened to you babbling in your stupid Wesley Willis voices. That may have been mildly funny 4-5 years ago, but it's not funny now. This part goes out especially to you, you skinny little four-eyed, hat-wearing bitch.. Nobody cares that you're attending the Warp show on a fucking grant from Who-The-Fuck-Ever School for Obnoxious Bastards. Nobody cares that if you buy a bottle of water at the Warp show, your school is paying for it. Nobody cares that you're from Boston FUCKING Massachusetts - not even those French guys who acted like they wanted to talk to you! Hey, guess what: they only talked to you so that they could cut into the line. In fact, after they passed by you in line, they were talking shit about how annoying you were. And, while I didn't hear the people behind you, I think we can safely assume they hated you too. You have no idea how close I was to ripping that stupid hat off of your head and cramming it down your throat just so that you'd shut the fuck up. Oh, and here's a message for your short, geeky friend with the pathetic, pre-pubescent beard: my girlfriend considers you to be the most irritating person on the face of the Earth. Furthermore, she finds your appearance repulsive - particularly your sad attempt to grow a beard. You're obviously incapable of growing a proper beard, so please just give up and shave it off because you're one Metallica shirt away from looking like a junior-high metal kid. We feel sorry for the other people who were with the two of you. It was clear by their silence just how embarassed they were to be associated with you. We imagine that their fondest wish at the time was to crawl under a rock and die. Instead, they (as well as everyone else in line) had to endure the longest hour of their lives. People like you give Americans a bad name abroad. You're an embarassment to yourselves as well as the rest of the nation. Oh, and congratulations on getting put in your place by my girlfriend when you tried to cut in front of us. I'm sure the crowd of onlookers thought you guys looked like some big men being told off by a 5'5, 105lb girl. You're lucky you didn't run into us inside the show, away from the watchful eye of security. We can only hope that the short time you spent within earshot of security personnel was enough to annoy them to the point where they would deny you entrance. The show had enough problems without you in there irritating everyone. In conclusion, it is our sincerest wish that on your return flight to Boston FUCKING Massachusetts, you were seated in front of people as annoying as yourselves. And you, four-eyes - if you're still in London, watch your back. The London arm of the Flat Earth Jihad will be watching and waiting. We'll cut you a little slack this time because you didn't realize you were in line behind the Flat Earth Jihad - but we won't be so forgiving next time. You've been warned, FLAT EARTH JIHAD --------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe, e-mail: idm-unsubscribe@hyperreal.org For additional commands, e-mail: idm-help@hyperreal.org