quoted 18 lines Date: Mon, 05 Feb 2001 14:29:36 +1100> Date: Mon, 05 Feb 2001 14:29:36 +1100
> From: Peter Hollo <raven@fourplay.com.au>
> Subject: Re: with your kind generosity
>
> Dear Mr Reynolda,
> I have in my possession a complete set of IDM-list "Reuterz" articles.
> On the black market, these pieces of "journalism" could fetch as much as
> $0.02 (2 cents).
>
> However, I am so moved that I am willing to send them
> to your hampster Little Freddie.
>
> Does he have an email address? I searched on the World Wide Web but the
> only hits were for some music-pirating software... I hope Freddie isn't
> involved in illegal activities of any sort?
>
> Yours in gullible sympathy,
> Peter Hollo.
Dear Mr Hollo,
Thank you for your outpouring of gullibility -- I mean, generosity.
We must sadly decline your offer of the Reuterz articles, as Little
Frederick has bit the dust in a tragic, but entirely exciting end
following the use of a microwave oven as a sauna.
Those damned things -- they tell you in big, bold letters not to
stick your head in one, but where are the government labels to warn
about the hampsters?
Though our management feels very strongly that the Reuterz pieces
would fetch a much, much higher price than what you quote, we are so
stricken with grief over the loss of our furry Canadian friend that
we are taking the Little Freddie Foundation bank account on a
permanent vacation in the Caribbean.
We will be busy spending the next few months evading the authorities
and PETA, all while working feverishly on our tans. Thus we will not
be able to accept your generous offer.
However, we are looking into the purchase of a yak farm in Mongolia
and establishing a new, non-profit foundation for the poor, poor
creatures.
If you know anything about the lifespan of a yak, you know that those
miserable, foul-smelling beasts will definitely be looking forward to
your donations of rare Aphex and other IDM-related MP3s.
Our fundraiding -- ahem, fundraising team will be in touch.
In the meantime, please enjoy these complimentary brunch certificates
from the Flin Flon, Manitoba-area Olive Garden restaurant. The
waiters and dishwashers await your visit with the most eager of
spirits and stalest of breadsticks.
Warmest Regards,
Alex Reynolda
Project Lead, Exploitation Division
The Little Freddie Foundation
Manitoba, Canada
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