Beta Bodega Coalition counter-intellegence report
member: Hamijama
METHOD OF ATTACK AND COMBAT TECHNIQUES: BINARY BACTERIA
PRESENT LOCATION: 3700 YEARS AGO IN BABYLON, BUT MY USELESS-ANSWER
MACHINE WAS RECONSTRUCTED IN THE PRESENT TIME BY BETA BODEGA. HAJIMAMA
HAS BEEN LOND-DEAD, AND IT'S THE TIME MACINE THAT MAKES ALL THE NOISES.
CURRENT PROJECT: CLASSIFIED
RELEASE DATE: CLASSIFIED
TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED...
Inventor, Scientist, Data-Anaylsis Expert, and Scavenger.
Babylon, BC 1742. Excerpted from the ancient texts...
I need to be on the streets usually about two hours before sunrise. The
others don't wake up as early as I do, they have a hard time after
getting piss-drunk on Babylonian ale so thick that you have to spit out
the hops at the bottom. I don't do that, I know that if I'm going to
find anything good I have to start looking before anyone else. You can't
spot a vintage 8.3 terracycle memory pipeline sticking out of the gutter
if you've got last night's drug-hazed hammer pounding on your temples.
I've found some amazing and rare parts recently, and I've almost
completed my machine. It can tell you the answer to any question you ask
it. In its present state, however, it will only give out information
that is absolutely useless. Ask it if King Hammurabi will be assa
sinated by the Vicar and it will tell you that the King pissed 0.421
liters the night before, and the Vicar only nearly half that. An
exciting peculiarity that I only recently discovered how to take
advantage of is to listen to the sounds my machine makes at the verge of
overload. It must be a combination of the frequency modulation,
subtractive and additive synthesis and future-echo spectral processing
aliasing of its ultra high frequency CPU down into the audible domain.
At first I thought the percussive background a result of a defective
circuit, but I have recently come to admire the sounds in and of
themselves. If you ask it questions faster than it can spit out its
sadly irrelevant facts, you can literally hear the confusion spew out of
it. I didn't think that a thousand cross references of unrelated data
streams would overload to make such disturbing and fascinating noises.
...Hamijama, Babylon, four year of the dog-harvest, late summer. (BC
1742)
Translated from the Sumerian in 1999, all base-60 numbers converted to
base-10 for the readers convenience, and ancient units converted to
metric using the Hamming-Terradyn window filter. The ruins and original
blueprints for Hamijama's machine were completely reconstructed in 1999,
at the Beta Bodega laboratory for advanced ancient science. The sounds
Hamijama refers to were painstakingly recorded at the highest quality in
our laboratories. The complete transcript of the verbal session which
provided these sounds is available on request.
For further reports contact Beta Bodega HQ:
Mil Mascaras
41-16 54th STreet Apt. 1R
Woodside, NY 11377