Yeah I know this ain't got shit to do with music but since my mind is
imploding like a bad oxygene waxed barrel I really need some advice here
concerning nothin' else then... yep... a girl...
Since you oughta think right now I'm a nerd with social/psychological
problems, well you're wrong, I'm a totally devoted lunatic enjoying
tripmusic and weird soundart. But, although some things are even for me too
crazy to understand so here's the story.
I know a girl for about 1 year and a half now. And ever since the last 8
months I know her VERY good, in the classroom we always (ALWAYS) were
sitting next to eachother, I tell her everything she tells me everythin', ya
know the normal friends stuff. Too damn the thing I was afraid of happened.
I fell in love with her, can you imagine the feeling of falling in love with
your BEST girlfriend who knows about everything from you. Well it's nice
(yep it rulez that's for sure). For about 7 months now I have been living
with a tremendous feeling of love, almost undiscribable let's say my heart
makes sounds like the new FSOL CD. She knows I love her, but she just wants
me as a very good friend because (and that's what I don't believe) she
hasn't fell in love with me. She likes me, she thinks I'm nice, she
appreciates my prescence whenever she's got trouble...
Now, the last couple of weeks I go out alot with her to party's, the movies,
ya know the regular normal stuff. One thing though, yesterday I took her too
a party where also a very good friend of mine was, she already seen him a
few times but she doesn't really know him. What happened? Yeah you can
probably hear it coming. I was having fun all night long, sometimes when I
talked to her I took her in my arms (on friends-base so... nothing wrong,
I'm a decent guy) but at 3 'o clock in the morning that friend of me comes
to me and says they (she and him) have a problem. She's in love with him and
he loves her too. Ever since they told me that (they aren't even a couple
yet or even haven't kissed eachother) my brain is melting, my sense of life
is gone and the only thing I wanna do is cry and leave this LAME planet. I
had a good talk with her and she says it's impossible for her to have my
friend as a boyfriend because it's too difficult for me and it's not fair
and what kind of reasons some one can come up with. Now the problem. Do I
need to HOPE for the time she MIGHT become my girlfriend and then why didn't
she fell in love with me yet? Is she scared too loose our friendship? We're
almost three times a week together. If she has my friend as a boyfriend I
can forget the movies, the times being with her, the stupid kisses I got
whenever I didn't see her for a week... I just can't live with this any longer.
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BEGIN...
Some one with a decent, clear way of thinking out there, or some one with
the same problem or whatever, PLEASE help me because I'm approaching the
border of life.
I'M SO MADLY IN LOVE (I never had it THIS worse and for such a LONG time...)
.%. WeeZ .%. WeeZeR@dma.be .%. MiNDVieW, rC & NeTFuNK! GRaPHiCiaN .%.
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