Hey :)
I though it was funny, but I was a raver in 1988. Am I really out of touch
or is this list written by someone very young? I appreciate the sentiment
though!
quoted 3 lines You might be a JADED raver if...>You might be a JADED raver if...
>
>-You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".
What?
quoted 2 lines -You finally realized that phat pants are heavy>-You finally realized that phat pants are heavy
>- and unpractical.
What are phat pants?
quoted 2 lines -You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of>-You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of
>-rather large dimensions.
Sure. I can clear a good space though!
quoted 1 line -When you do dance, you "battle".>-When you do dance, you "battle".
Duh?
quoted 2 lines -You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated>-You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated
>- to the "superior rave status".
No ravers I ever met could deal with that (that's someone else doing it, let
alone themselves)
quoted 2 lines -You find out just how crooked promoters really>-You find out just how crooked promoters really
>- are.
That was obvious right from the start.
quoted 1 line -You hate massives.>-You hate massives.
Sure
quoted 2 lines -You blame candy kids for everything retarded in>-You blame candy kids for everything retarded in
>-the scene.
hehe. "Dayglo robots", right?
quoted 1 line -You say "the scene" a lot.>-You say "the scene" a lot.
blech!
quoted 2 lines -You find out how much better european electronic>-You find out how much better european electronic
>- music really is.
It is? There is some good stuff but as a generalization that's pretty
terrible. Euro-dance is shite.
quoted 2 lines -You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years>-You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years
>- ago in the UK.
:)
quoted 3 lines -You have pretended to be rolling at a party just>-You have pretended to be rolling at a party just
>- to get a quick laugh out
>of your friends.
"Rolling" ? Rolling a joint or what?
quoted 2 lines -When you ARE on E, you do your best to act>-When you ARE on E, you do your best to act
>- normal.
Stopped taking it cos I can't handle being really nice to people who I know
are assholes. It's like someone else has taken control of my body and has
been running around all night doing things I hate.
quoted 1 line -You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.>-You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.
In 1995, maybe,
quoted 1 line -You realize how lame progressive trance is.>-You realize how lame progressive trance is.
Ack!!! Definitely!
quoted 2 lines -You find out that American DJ's are completely>-You find out that American DJ's are completely
>-overrated.
What, like Derrick May and Jeff MIlls? :)
quoted 2 lines -You have close friends who don't give a fuck>-You have close friends who don't give a fuck
>-about raving.
Always did.
quoted 2 lines -You think that maybe YOU don't really give a fuck>-You think that maybe YOU don't really give a fuck
>-either.
No, I'm sure.
quoted 1 line -The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.>-The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.
:)
quoted 2 lines -You can't help but laugh when someone tries to>-You can't help but laugh when someone tries to
>-give you a "glow stick show".
Noone would dare.
quoted 1 line -You learn to break.>-You learn to break.
I could do that before there *were* raves.
quoted 2 lines -If you want to actually "roll," you have to eat>-If you want to actually "roll," you have to eat
>- about four pills at once.
Duh?
quoted 3 lines -You can get those four pills for the same price>-You can get those four pills for the same price
>-that everyone else pays for
>-one.
I don't take pills
quoted 1 line -You drink beer at after parties.>-You drink beer at after parties.
And before...
quoted 1 line -You quit collecting fliers.>-You quit collecting fliers.
I collect good graphic design, fliers or otherwise
quoted 4 lines -You have unsubscribed from your rave mailing>-You have unsubscribed from your rave mailing
>-list, because "none of those
>-fucking little kids understand a thing about
>-raving, dammit!"
I am still on IDM-L despite all the kiddies who subscribe because they think
it's cool and then spend their time flaming people who have forgotten far,
far more than they will ever know.
quoted 2 lines -You can't remember the last time you went to a>-You can't remember the last time you went to a
>- party and didn't think it sucked.
No, I go to good parties, we don't invite assholes.
quoted 1 line -You can't remember much in general.>-You can't remember much in general.
:)
quoted 2 lines -You realize that ravers aren't nearly as genuine>-You realize that ravers aren't nearly as genuine
>-as the hippies were.
What an understatement.
quoted 2 lines -You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle>-You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle
>- accidentally swallowed it and died.
hehe! What a lovely thought!
quoted 1 line -You are actually called by your real name.>-You are actually called by your real name.
Well some people still call me doktor, but I didn't choose that nick.
quoted 2 lines -You realize that the general public shoudln't be>-You realize that the general public shoudln't be
>-blamed for hating raves.
true.
quoted 1 line -You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy.>-You think ECKO is the sickest gear money can buy.
Duh?
quoted 1 line -You talk shit as much as possible.>-You talk shit as much as possible.
:)
quoted 2 lines -You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's>-You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's
>-an eight record pair of pants.")
Oh, come on!!
quoted 1 line -You DESPISE Happy Hardcore.>-You DESPISE Happy Hardcore.
Ack1!!!
quoted 1 line -You DESPISE candy.>-You DESPISE candy.
Mmmm. Candy!
quoted 3 lines -You have seen a thirteen year old "raver" on>-You have seen a thirteen year old "raver" on
>-ecstasy and felt like leaving
>-the party because of it.
I think it's sad.
quoted 1 line -You know what a 303 is.>-You know what a 303 is.
uh-huh.
quoted 2 lines -You no longer feel the need to advertise your>-You no longer feel the need to advertise your
>-"rave-ness" to the world.
No longer!?
quoted 1 line -You realize shell toes are shitty shoes.>-You realize shell toes are shitty shoes.
Duh?
quoted 1 line -You can't count how many pairs you have owned.>-You can't count how many pairs you have owned.
0!
quoted 1 line -You know that post-rave sex is aweful.>-You know that post-rave sex is aweful.
:) I'm willing to keep trying!
quoted 2 lines -You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle>-You've punked kids who tried to get in a circle
>- that was outta their league.
Never had to. But I don't think faking exclusivity is cool either.
quoted 2 lines -You can determine where a raver is from just by>-You can determine where a raver is from just by
>-the way they dance.
Really?
quoted 1 line -You know that LA ravers can't dance worth a shit.>-You know that LA ravers can't dance worth a shit.
Never met one.
quoted 3 lines -You find out that underground parties still>-You find out that underground parties still
>- happen quite frequently,
>-despite what 98% of the raving populous thinks.
Now that is so true. I hate it so much when the "big names" come on TV and
say there's no underground scene anymore. Like MTV or Top of The Pops is
where they find out about new music
quoted 2 lines -You party sober and now understand how stupid you>-You party sober and now understand how stupid you
>- looked when you didn't.
Hehe. Oops, guilty :)
quoted 2 lines -You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not>-You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not
>-just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD.
Of course! Unlike the dayglo robots.
quoted 1 line -You read URB.>-You read URB.
Whassat??
quoted 2 lines -You have day-dreams that involve the Telletubies>-You have day-dreams that involve the Telletubies
>-and a large rusty chainsaw.
Oh my god, nobody thinks teletubbies have anything to do with "raving"
(ack!) do they?
quoted 2 lines -Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a>-Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a
>-long, long time ago.
:)
quoted 2 lines -You know why GHB and special K are for fucking>-You know why GHB and special K are for fucking
>-idiots.
And E, and speed, and charlie, and smack, and crack...
quoted 1 line -You understand electro and minimal techno now.>-You understand electro and minimal techno now.
Always did.
quoted 1 line -You hate rave ho's.>-You hate rave ho's.
They sound interesting, can anybody introduce me?
quoted 2 lines -You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while>-You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while
>-smoking a cigarette.
:)
quoted 2 lines -You begin to notice how often big DJ's blow>-You begin to notice how often big DJ's blow
>-mixes.
Yeah!
quoted 2 lines -You think sweaty guys who run around the party>-You think sweaty guys who run around the party
>-shirtless should get thrown out.
Thrown down a big hole!
quoted 2 lines -You act like a punk-ass bitch to security,>-You act like a punk-ass bitch to security,
>-police, and any other authority.
No, I'm always nice as pie!
quoted 4 lines -You purposely wear way too much clothing to>-You purposely wear way too much clothing to
>-parties, because you know that
>-dancing in a turtleneck sweater looks fucking
>-ill.
Eh?
quoted 1 line -You say "ill" a lot.>-You say "ill" a lot.
I do?
quoted 2 lines -You have replaced Caffiene, JNCO, and Adidas with>-You have replaced Caffiene, JNCO, and Adidas with
>-Technic, Vestax, and JBL.
Hmm, okay...
quoted 2 lines -You know that raving is all about the music, but>-You know that raving is all about the music, but
>-RAVERS are not.
"Raving" is about shite, period.
quoted 2 lines -You find the jungle room much more appealing now.>-You find the jungle room much more appealing now.
>-You can actually dance to jungle.
D&B is far better to dance to than four-to-the-floor stuff, but
unfortunately most of it is stuck in 1995.
quoted 1 line -You hate Feelgood and Coolworld.>-You hate Feelgood and Coolworld.
I don't even know what they are.
quoted 2 lines -You laugh out loud when you walk into Jamba Juice>-You laugh out loud when you walk into Jamba Juice
>-and they're playing dance music.
What the hell is Jamba Juice?
quoted 2 lines -You see guys from your high school football team>-You see guys from your high school football team
>-at a party.
Thank god, no.
quoted 1 line -You know raving is mainstream as fuck.>-You know raving is mainstream as fuck.
Too right!
quoted 2 lines -The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to>-The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to
>-the party.
No, if the design is good i like it big so I can get a better scan. Pity a
good flier doesn't mean the party will be good.
quoted 2 lines -You can re-tell the story of how raving came to>-You can re-tell the story of how raving came to
>-America quite accurately.
It did?
quoted 1 line -You hate Anthem tracks.>-You hate Anthem tracks.
Eeeeuuugh!!!
quoted 2 lines -Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely>-Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely
>-fucked up.
Yeah, but it's work that did that.
quoted 2 lines -You're not racist, but you just have to wonder>-You're not racist, but you just have to wonder
>-where the hell all those Asian kids are coming from.
What asian kids?
quoted 2 lines -You sit around with friends and tell old "rave>-You sit around with friends and tell old "rave
>-disaster" stories.
Now and again. Like the time I ripped my cornea off with my contact lens.
quoted 1 line -You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.>-You are amazed that you are somehow still alive.
Very true!
Ross.
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