EXCERPTS FROM A DOG?S DIARY
Day number 180:
8:00am ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am ? OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am ? OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00noon ? OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm ? OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00pm ? OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm ? OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181:
8:00am ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30am ? OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40am ? OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30am ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
11:30am ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00noon ? OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00pm ? OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30pm ? oooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00pm ? OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00pm ? OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30pm ? OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT?S DIARY
DAY 752 ? My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
another houseplant.
DAY 761 ? Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favorite chair?must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 ? Decapitated a mouse and brought them the
headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what
I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was?Hmmm. Not working according to
plan.
DAY 768 ? I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water
torture. This time, however, it included a burning
foamy chemical called ?shampoo?. What sick minds
could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is
the piece of thumb still stuck in my teeth.
DAY 771 ? There was some sort of gathering of their
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
foul odor of the glass tubes they call ?beer?. More
importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due
to MY power of ?allergies?. Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 ? I am convinced the other captives are
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them
regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.
Due to his current placement in the metal room, his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a
matter of time...
_______________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
http://vote.yahoo.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------
To unsubscribe, e-mail: idm-unsubscribe@hyperreal.org
For additional commands, e-mail: idm-help@hyperreal.org