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[idm] You're all fools, we are fools, mango chutney_ and the granny robot is DEAD _ april 02/

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2002-04-03 00:07[idm] You're all fools, we are fools, mango chutney_ and the granny robot is DEAD _ april 02/
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2002-04-03 00:07"V/Vm" <vvm@v-vm.demon.co.uk> (by way of Lance @ Inaudible)================================================================ So much news, so much to
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[idm] You're all fools, we are fools, mango chutney_ and the granny robot is DEAD _ april 02/
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================================================================ So much news, so much to report- check out our website for more_ <http://www.brainwashed.com/vvm>www.brainwashed.com/vvm here's an overview of V/Vm fools NEWS >>>>> ================================================================ THE QUEEN MOTHER IS DEAD BOYS AND IT'S SO LONELY ON A MECHANICAL LIMB >> ROYALdeath01 - Limited 7" single / Last copies available. May we start this mail by offering our sincere condolences at this time to those most affected by these tragic events and demise of our queen mother. Firstly spare a thought for her mechanics who were never afraid to change her oil when requested and always carried around a supply of bolts and screws should she need any running repairs. Secondly Gordon's Gin who will suffer greatly as one of its most famous daughters passes away to the great scrapyard in the sky. So 101 copies it is _ a special number for a special granny ROBOT Firstly we denounce the following rumours which have been doing the rounds over the last 48 or so hours >>> 1. that V/Vm have recorded a version of KRAFTWERK's "we are the robots" on a SH101 for this tribute.// 2. that in no way did our website update yesterday affect the queen mothers health because robots cannot read unless of course the site is updated and available in binary format. 3. that it was a disgruntled V/Vm fan who broke into st james' palace and laced a bottle of gordon's finest with domestos. After a technical investigation we can reveal that the true nature of the passing away was down to a used 1973 vauxhall viva engine sprocket used to shore up the queen mothers left armpit. Usually this routine proceedure is failproof when a 1974 sprocket is used, but the combination of 1973 sprocket coupled with the twin cam thrust of the arm meant there was a complete breakdown in the exhaust department with fumes become trapped in the vocal shaft which led to a build up of burning oil and blue smoke being emitted from said queens ears. The engine completly seized when oil levels fell below 6. To the important matters at hand the 7" Tribute.// Unfortunately the Queen Mother is currently not dead (you don't believe everything you read do you ?)- anyway her inner turbine takes around 4-5 weeks to cool from shutdown, which means she will officially pass away later this month or even into early MAY... to coincide with FULL shutdown we will mail out our tribute 7" to help ease the pain and suffering you are all currently feeling >> ANYWAY as a bonus for those of you who purchase these numbered editions we will also be setting a webpage up on the site where you will be allowed a small place to maybe capture just how you're feeling and which sum's up yours and a nations mourning. These messages will be kept online forever as a lasting tribute to a rather splendid if drunken old robot. Details of the audio on each tribute is being guarded by the queens royal guards at sandringHAM palace- the price per copy is 6ukp/$10 (postage paid and included) details of how to order and reserve your own copy can be found at the website > <http://www.brainwashed.com/vvm>www.brainwashed.com/vvm ================================================================ V/Vm PAP IDLE 2002 - MP3's Those of you based in the UK will of course be aware of the PAP IDLE contest which was run seemingly forever on uk national television, the resultant weeks of torture led to two finalists - Billy Young and Gareth Grates with Billy ultimately victorious. However whilst victory that time was sweet for Billy this time around it may be so different as V/Vm has exclusive access to their demo versions of the winning songs "evergreen" and "anything is possible" and these have been posted onto the website for your free download in MP3 format which entitles you to a vote for your favourite V/Vm PAP IDLE 2002. THe winner after all the votes are in will be sent a pack of out of date sausages in celebration and will also appear on a new sick love release later this year. The loser will recieve nothing. The choice will be YOURS . Billy or Gareth ???? we await your feedback. ================================================================ V/Vm DIRECT MAIL ORDER well many of you have been taking advantage of our super low mail order prices and also the preordering which has allowed you to recieve the new cd's "sometimes, good things happen" well in advance of their release date. If you didn't check our prices out yet then do so at your leisure through the website (the mail order section has been updated), it's quite painless... trust us./ payment via Pay Pal_ cash_ cheques/ ================================================================ V/Vm "sometimes, good things happen" CD's (VVMTCD 09 / VVMTCD 09i) These are still available only from the V/Vm website, both discs will be released officially next month and next months mailout will reflect this as we look at them both in more detail. For price information on ordering them in advance check out the website for prices. ================================================================ The Caretaker "a stairway to the stars" CD/DLP (OFFAL07/OFFALP07) Finally the new Caretaker CD/DLP will be available within the next couple of weeks, again it can be ordered now from the site_ and already the double blue vinyl version is becoming scarce so what are you waiting for ?? ================================================================ V/Vm / Jansky Noise/ Burns (Medicine Bar Birmingham 30/03/2002) A last minute illness meant the withdrawal of Jansky Noise from this show in birmingham but his replacement and new V/Vm artiste "BURNS" stepped in to man the bridge and offered a truely wonderful set of broken down NOISE JAZZ_ which was seemingly one of the loudest things i've been exposed to due to various technical failiures. V/Vm in the capacity of dj's still had time to annoy many by previewing their pap idle MP3's and surely the sickest version of Paul Young's "everytime you go away you take a piece of meat with you" too special. The performance included dancing girls, 1 sick pig mask complete with spores and bacteria, and a small pig eye mask.# Pictures and video's of the shows will be uploaded as soon as we get the chance_ they were captured in all their dysfunctional glory.. ================================================================ BOOTLEGGING >> Not here, our releases are official and sample cleared thanks to VVMCPS. it seems that the UK press all of a sudden are bandwaggoning the current trend for Bootleg releases_ something we have been bracketed into on numerous occasions///// of course whilst we appreciate this additional exposure- it must be noted that all V/Vm releases are infact "official" and carry full copyright clearance due to our own clearing service VVMCPS. And in no way are you purchasing bootleg items. ================================================================ Forthcoming > OFFAL07 / OFFALP07 (april) ROYALdeath01 7" (may) VVMTCD 09 / VVMTCD 09i (may) BUTCHER03 (June) and more, much more..... / LOVE TO YOU ALL _ V/Vm xxx ================================================================ --------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe, e-mail: idm-unsubscribe@hyperreal.org For additional commands, e-mail: idm-help@hyperreal.org