So I was going to write my heart out about how some people just aren't
getting it and "told you so" type bullshit is just that, and also how NY
is the greatest place in America because we live and breathe
multicultural understanding. I was also going to say that I know people
in government who are not greedy, war mongers, there are plenty people
who love their communities and are truly public servants.
But I think I will just try to make people who aren't in NYC, or who
simply don't live like we do, understand what is really happening.
Our lives have been destroyed. I can't go to my job as a creative
technologist downtown and don't know when i will. I can't go home and
make music in my brooklyn studio. I can't sleep or feel safe. I can't go
absorb the beauty of New York and the beauty that is LIFE. Everything is
on hold and the outlook is UNKNOWN. This is the FACT. We are all
collectively rendered injured and impotent to continue with bettering
our lives.
It's not capitialism that has been attacked, nor US policy. It's me and
my friends and neighborhoods.
Anybody who can't understand this I can't blame. It is truly
incomprehensible. But if you can't simpathize and just want to
politicise things, don't bother. It doesn't mean anything to me.
Politics is is on hold. Democracy is hold and MOST importantly our lives
and freedom is on hold.
People are coming together and it is the only thing keeping the city
together right now. I saw chalk writing on the sidewalk today :
"Now that we have been attacked as ONE, can we continue to live like
brothers and sisters?"
yes.
I 've seen hundreds of pictures of missing neighbors and family members
posted on the streets. I must have cried and shaken my head for three
days now and I'm exhausted.
Nothing is justified here.
Here is a first hand account from my really good friend of mine who was
attacked on the 11th. We worked together in Paris for the French people
with French people, German people, Brits, Scots, Irish and Russians and
built the Renault website in 3 languages, german, french, UK english.
(WE are the americans that were attacked, get it?). He's from Malta:
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First Strike, an account from the front line
Tuesday morning, a good night’s sleep after a night that had an
insignificant amount of paranoia in it. Why, where was it from? A week
after having too vivid of a dream about being drafter to war. Getting to
the office early, which is unusual of me because of training that we set
up. I was having breakfast in a crowded conference room getting ready
for the usual day of work. This guy runs in the room, freakin out, sayin
that a plane crashed into the world trade center. I was like, "yeah
right, you fucken shittin us". He was like "NO, look in my bag, look at
this debris!" With that, we believed. Checked cnn.com and saw a picture
of one of the twin tower buildings with a hole in it. I didn’t want to
run out, we thought it was accidental. Thinking could terrorism hit this
hard, this real? Nah, it was accidental, it’s no big deal A plane hit
the empire state building 50 years ago. That survived. That’s still
around.
Second hit
The building shook, the windows vibrated and everyone screamed what the
fuck was that??? We ran out and headed downstairs. Hit the lobby, saw
pictures of what was going on on the tv screen at 55 Broad st. Ran
outside, saw people running through the streets. An older lady was
screaming "believe in jesus". Huh? This is unreal. Getting the accounts.
Initial thoughts were that a piece of the first plane hit the 2nd. But
people started saying that it was a 2nd plane. I think at that point
everyone started to believe that it was an attack. I had a cigarette and
just looked at people. My emotional state was weird at that time. This
disbelief, this surrealism, this rain of burning debris, unnatural
artificial clouds looming about. I decided that I needed to see it
closer, I walked towards battery park. I saw people lining up behind pay
phones. I saw ambulances, police cars, fire-engines screaming through
the streets, people jumping on sidewalks trying to get out of their way.
I made it to an opening where I could look up. just smoke, behind a
large building. Another block, turned my head, and saw a scene that was
unlike any other I have ever seen and will ever see again. The 2 tallest
buildings I have ever seen burning, holes in them. Debris falling from
them. People in disbelief, recounting their experiences. Talking of how
they saw these planes hit. Describing the 2nd plane that hit. A big
plane that hit and went out in flames. It disappeared in flames
engulfing the building. I stood there looking up. I wanted to get a
disposable camera but that did not feel right. At that time, I saw
something fall, someone said it was a body. I said nothing. I was
stateless, mouth open in disbelief. Headed back to the office and went
upstairs, to see what others were feeling, what they were saying.
Everyone was on the phone with their families. I called mine. Had a hard
time explaining what just happened to my mom. She didn’t comprehend
it. it’s like watching a movie and you think, ow, this is fake.
That’s probably the sense she got. At that time, when I was talking to
her, I heard another explosion.
Three
I told my mom "yo, I gotta go" hung up and ran towards the stair case.
We all did. We ran down, through the doors and out into the street.
Looking to the left I saw a wall of white dust come around the corner of
Wall St. & Broad St. I thought it was a chemical attack. I stopped
breathing and started running down beaver st. another wall of dust came
around that corner and I then ran down broad st. I had no clue where I
was going, where everyone else was. I just ran. Is this chemical? is
this a building near by that just got bombed. Some guy screamed that
they bombed the stock exchange. I was thinking that the attacks are
getting closer to where I am and just started running. There was a mob,
moving in all directions, mostly away from the approaching wall of dust.
Some were running into it. some were not moving. Some were going into
buildings. Panic. The water, that’s where I have to head, there are no
structures there, there is nothing they can bomb there. Cross the
bridge, go to brooklyn, its’ safe, it’s home. At the water, there
were mobs, moving downtown. Where the fuck were they going, there’s
nothing there. No bridges, no escape routes from manhattan. Go up to the
bridge. But they were moving down for a reason. The cloud of smoke was
coming downtown. You could not see 20 feet from you. You could not see
the buildings across the street. The brooklyn bridge was hidden, the
world was gone, was the end coming? Would this smoke cause us to go
blind? Would we end up reinacting the book blindness? It got dark, It
got white. I took my shirt off and put that around my face to stop the
dust from entering my lungs. I got a fruit juice from the street vendor
and rinsed my mouth. I wet the shirt, put it over my mouth and just ran
into the dust. People were running in the opposite direction and I was
screaming "HEAD TO BROOKLYN, head to brooklyn". Some turned and
followed, others ran downtown.
Final
I made it to the bridge and out of the dust. I was covered at this
point. Eyes burining, I wanted a cigarette. Fuck. I thoughth. Fuck.
Nothing elese running through my head. All these people, none of which I
know. None of which they know. In the middle of the bridge, I heard a
thud. I turned. We all did. The 2nd tower fell. I saw it fall. Slow and
meticilious, growing as it fell, outwords, shifting it’s solidularity
into a gas like state. It was soon gone, and all of lower manhattan was
a cloud. Engulfed.
People on the bridge were stunned. "you bastards better have my money"
some guy was sayin. Man, what the fuck, fuck ur money. You ‘re not
there, you know??? Besides him, everyone else was in disbelief. Crying,
defeated, standing looking. Surreal. No cars on the bridge. On all
lanes. Just dusty people, quiet. Everyone turned around and started
walking, running, the bridge was next they screamed.
Made it home, on the walk there I had to pass the dust again. I got a
dust mask, put my glasses on and walked. I stopped to get some status
from the cops. They knew nothing. At home, I saw a sheet of paper on the
stoop. It was a page from a map book. It was a map of Wisconsin. The
edges are burnt. I was so close.
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that sums it up?