From: ?? ???t <Oways@msn.com>
quoted 1 line Contact me bloke.....(is that used right.....:)
> Contact me bloke.....(is that used right.....:)
British pronouns like bloke, chap, etc. are nearly always used in the 3rd
person, you wouldn't address someone that way. The main exception is 'mate',
which is perfectly fine for addressing your (male friends). We now present a
short masterclass in 'How to talk like a true Brit':
US: 'Yo dude, whassup?'
UK: 'Orright mate, any news?'
UK++: 'I say old thing, it's been simply yonks!'*
* Nobody actually talks like this unless their family is listed in Who's Who
and holds shooting parties in the summer.
US: 'I don't like your attitude, asshole.'
UK: 'Did you spill my pint, you wanker?'
UK++: 'My chauffer represented Britain in ju-jitsu at the 1986 commonwealth
games.'
US: 'My father works in waste management.'
UK: 'My old man's a dustman.'
UK++: 'Daddy is something terribly boring in the city.'
US: 'Gimme your wallet motherfucker.'
UK: ''And over the nicker or I'll kick yer head in.'
UK++: 'I have retained the services of Lord Mishcon QC.'
US: 'Damn, this is good weed.'
UK: 'Fucking A, this is the stuff.'
UK++: 'I've got champagne bubbles coming out of my nose. What fun!'
US: 'That girl's hot, man.'
UK: 'Phwoar, she's a bit of alright, know what I mean? Wouldn't kick 'er
outta my bed for eating biscuits fnarr fnaar...oi! Luv! Show us yer tits
then!'
UK++: 'I shouldn't mind showing her a bit of the old rumpy-pumpy in the
games room, what what?'
These handy phrases will cover you for most social situations you are likely
to encounter in modern life. We now return you to your scheduled IDM
programme.
Anig Browl
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