The funniest fucking email I've read in a while!
I love what you did with my quote about capturing
children and says loud, children!
Funny shit! and a great way to make some humor at this
outragous inquire made by P. Cevallos, and a great way
to show the utter non-scence of it all!
Very clever though! Well wrote too.
xh
--- The Truth <save_the_childrens@hotmail.com> wrote:
quoted 154 lines PARENTAL ACTION ALERT
> PARENTAL ACTION ALERT
> -------- ------ -----
>
> - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - )
> - ( - ) - ( - ) -
> PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IF YOU LOVE
> YOUR CHILDREN
> - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - )
> - ( - ) - ( - ) -
>
>
> TARGET: BOARD OF CANADA
>
> Dear readers,
>
> Thanks to the diligent efforts of renowned European
> researcher
> Dr. P. Cevallos, a new threat to our children's
> lives and futures has been
> unearthed. The purpose of this letter is to educate
> parents around the
> world so they can take action against this menace,
> before it does more
> harm!
>
> Perhaps you have heard the sounds of popular musical
> rock group
> "BOARD OF CANADA" coming from your child's bedroom?
> Well you better take a
> closer listen (and look!).. because this music is
> the music of PEDOPHILES!
>
> Pick up a copy of their latest CD, "MUSIC HAS THE
> RIGHT TO CHILDREN", and
> the evidence is clear:
>
> * The title itself: Music (ie, the musicians) have
> the right to children.
> YOUR children! Who knows where they will strike
> next to get at your
> precious youngsters?
>
> * The cover depicts a group of FACELESS children. As
> any art historian
> will tell you, whenever children or women are
> depicted without faces, it
> is a clear indication of sexual desire and
> objectification on the part
> of the artist, reducing the subject to a mere
> "body without a face", in
> other words, a receptacle for sexual outlet only.
>
> It's also quite possible that the children on the
> cover are recent
> victims of their sick desires, placed
> unidentifiably on the cover as
> "trophies" to show other pedophiles. On the
> internet, pedophiles
> regularly place hidden "marks" or "counters" on
> their pages to indicate
> how many children they've preyed on.
>
> Ask yourself this: if they're not pedophiles, why
> didn't they show the
> children's faces?
>
> * The CD is a light blue color, a color usual
> associated with YOUNG BOYS!!
>
> * The titles, which include red flags like
> "TELESCOPIC WORKSHOP",
> "SIXTYNINE", "DO THE WHIRL", "PETE STANDING
> ALONE", all explicit
> references to the disgusting acts they wish to
> perform. We can only pray
> to God that young Pete was returned safely to his
> parents and not cut
> into pieces and buried out behind the big barn.
>
> * The music itself is hypnotizing and bizarre,
> perfect for lulling young
> children into a trance-like state. In some songs,
> the sounds of children
> speaking and laughing can be heard. In one song
> in particular
> ("AQUARIUM", what pedophile wouldn't like to keep
> children in their
> homes as some people keep fish?), the word
> "orange" is repeated and
> followed by the laughter of children. How many
> times has your precious
> child been offered an orange or other treat in
> return for some "special
> photographs"? This song is nothing but an
> instruction manual for child
> abusers!
>
> The last song on the CD has a haunting voice
> talking about
> constitutional rights and obscenity. Only
> perverts and smut-peddlers
> need to hide behind this kind of drivel, so don't
> fall for it! No one
> has the constitutional right to offend another
> person, especially not
> CHILD MOLESTERS!
>
> The most horrible discovery we made was the song
> "ROYGBIV" (the Danish
> for "child"). Using sophisticated audio analyis
> software, we were able
> to detect PENIS-SHAPED sound-waves coming from
> stereo!! These horrible
> phallic waves of audio energy are directed right
> at the level necessary
> to probe and fondle innocent young bodies.
>
> * Other Board of Canada album titles are equally
> frightening: "IN A VAN
> OUT IN THE COUNTRY", "PEEL SESSIONS" (a nickname
> often used by
> pedophiles for the nude sessions they hold with
> young children).
>
> If you're not convinced, just take a look at more
> evidence:
>
> * Board of Canada are from the UK, a hotbed of
> pedophilic activity
> (recently a group of doctors was arrested when it
> became known that they
> regularly touched children while supposedly
> treating them for disease!)
>
> * Most pedophiles own CD players and can easily get
> access to Board of
> Canada material.
>
> * There could be other negative effects too: fully
> 50% of children who
> listened to Board of Canada score BELOW the
> median level in school.
>
> * On an internet bulletin board called IDM (we're
> not sure what that
> stands for), pedophiles often gather to discuss
> techniques of luring
> children with music. For example here are two
> actual submissions to this
> bulletin board (warning they may SHOCK you!!)
>
> #1
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
quoted 13 lines Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 19:33:55 -0700 (PDT)
> Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 19:33:55 -0700 (PDT)
> From: Chispas De Muerte <xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [idm] Are Boards of Canada
> pedophiles?
>
> You know I think a lot of BOC's formula for
> making those
> sounds sort of triggers this " I feel like
> going for,
> a kid around five or so,
> milk that shit for all its worth.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
quoted 4 lines #2
>
> #2
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
quoted 18 lines Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 12:33:58 -0700 (PDT)
> Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 12:33:58 -0700 (PDT)
> From: The soul that creates
> <xxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [idm] Are Boards of Canada
> pedophiles? READ!
>
> Are you kidding!?
> Boards of Canada (especially M.H.T.R.T.C.)
> to me seems
> to be good time music...
> encourage the listener to
> captured,
> CHILDREN!! HINT HINT....there is a message
> here...it
> says loud and clear,
> CHILDREN!!!!
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
quoted 13 lines So if you're a parent and you care about your
>
> So if you're a parent and you care about your
> children like all parents do,
> TAKE ACTION!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY all Board of Canada
> CDs and records, and
> install filtering software on your PC so your
> children can't download
> so-called illegal "MP-3" files! They may contain
> viruses that send your
> address and phone number to pedophiles and other
> predators!
>
>
=== message truncated ===
=====
Kounterakt in constant evolution.
http://www.kounterakt.cjb.net ("Industrial",Rock, Experimental, I.D.M., DnB hybrid craziness)Circle Of Anxiety
http://www.cofanx.cjb.net(should appeal to fans of all sorts of I.D.M.)
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