quoted 2 lines Call me a culinary idiot, but I had a good laugh when I went out to eat at a>Call me a culinary idiot, but I had a good laugh when I went out to eat at a
>new Italian restaurant here. One of the menu items was "Funghi Porcini".
Well, yes, my Italian spy tells me that porcini are one of the most
expensive mushrooms, and most sought after by the refined for their taste.
I must not be particularly refined, since I feel that all mushroom should
be left on the ground in those circles made by forest fairies and/or UFOs.
Speaking of UFOs, a rather ambient topic is those damn crop circles. I
almost had a stroke laughing the other day, viewing serious academics and
"scientists" discussing their cutting-edge research into the crop-circle
"mystery".
Then I became quite serious (as I sometimes do, especially when I think of
money, or its peculiar absence), and considered a solution to my
studio-funding dilemma. Since my pleas for charity have gone unheeded by
the coldhearted Aphex-worshipping world, I must consider other means.
So, I thought about getting funding for a grant to study graffiti.
Clearly, graffiti is the work of space aliens. It's too complex and
patterned to be the product of natural forces. It couldn't be a prank
because no one could create such complex patterns overnight in a public
place, without being noticed. Therefore, ipso facto, post hoc ergo
propter hoc, ALIENS.
As final evidence, consider that the government has published absolutely no
studies on the alien-graffiti connection. Therefore, those studies must
all be top top secret. Therefore, there must be a really important story
which the government is hiding from us!!!
Don't go trying to steal my grant idea now. I thought of it first. Though
collaborators are welcome, as long as my name goes first on the Nobel Prize.
Zenon M. Feszczak
Ambientologist
P.S. REQUIRED IDM CONTENT FOLLOWS: Bill Laswell "Dub System 1" is a
beautiful thing.